I want to be a shot heard around the world

It’s funny when older people complain. They take every negative experience they ever had and ball it up until it engulfs their spirit , mind and body. They’ll blame it on who’s above. They’ll blame it on economic misfortune. They’ll tell you they don’t know anything anymore.
I have friended a immigrant who feels that where she is in her life is a cruel joke and on repeat states “there is no god, I have travelled , seen the world, there is no justice. Those who are cruel at heart don’t care, they’re happy.” Then ends it with a , “I hate my life, I woke up today and realized I was still alive”.

I can’t say I feel sorry. I can say I understand and have been there before.

The point is, a lot of things may not go any ones way. Ya it sucks but what’s the point of being angry day in and day out? Buddhas don’t even have significant others, just each-other.

I used to feel like we didn’t have choices and we were all in a predisposition of intuition. However, now I’m starting to have a change of heart.

Oh damn the ball of emotions we are. Go pet a dog, all thoughts, anger, sadness will be vanished

Swing life away

I am in the process of training to volunteer at a hospice. I don’t know if I am prepared for this experience. I feel like it will be a “trip” and time well spent. When I think about the end and how it is something everyone and everything experiences. Yet it is a topic or subject matter no one really takes the time to discuss. I guess on one end it is morbid but very well a fundamental part of life. I haven’t had any close losses that were intimate to me in my life other than my childhood dog, max. To this day, I haven’t cried about his departure from my reality.

During my training, Sal ( I feel like he is my mentor bc he happened to be a expert on resumes and a former hr representative. Which is also what I need , insight on my resume. I find this to be ironic and a blessing from the universe.)
Tells me stories about what to expect, how to handle situations, his own personal stories from his career and personal life.

One particuliar story he shared with me helped me feel again. I haven’t cried in a while and felt real emotions for only the boss upstairs has on record. This women was nearing her last hours. She told sal, she was afraid. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to go alone. He held her hand and let her know she’s not alone.

I guess what I want to express is I hope everyone chooses to spend their time in a meaningful and awesome way. When you think about all the chaos that is happening in the world today. Everything from the Middle East, the airplane malfunctions and misunderstandings in Russia, Malaysia, Ukraine and the list can go on and on. I should be and we should all be grateful and most importantly thankful for our time and moments we share and are allowed to share. Despite the losses as the human race we need to hug each other and understand that time is all we have and do what we are meNt here to do not what we are told to do by whatever “powers” for their personal agendas. I am not saying be a hippy ,loving ,shoeless ,smelly fuck. Just take the time to listen. Take the time to strive to do your best.

Life is a gift. Even gifts determinate, take care of it and create a lasting memory.

Xoxox

Reama

Your here to get yours, and nothing else gets in the way

I am in the mother of all flashing lights, Los Angeles. I made it. There have been a few set backs. My roommates, letting me know they are charging me more then I should be paying. There is no fridge, there was no electricity ( 3 days with burning flame candles; luckily I had brought my Vickies candle I bought on a super discount in my over 18 pound luggage). The man who drove me to my apartment tried to pocket 60 dollars instead of being honest with me. Why is it so hard to be honest?

But you know what. I will refuse to believe that this city, this world is all that it is, dishonest, hungry savages. Yes we are all hungry, Yes’ ill get mine but I will not cut, stab, shove in the process. Do it with class, courteous, and smile. We are here together. I tried to find a different place. I saw some really cool parts of LA. However I felt like they were worst deals. However, there was this one. There was this rooftop. I was going to drop my life in the heart of this city to be on top for some piece of mind. It was this three sixty view in this urban, more like borded up the forgotten neighborhood of Los Angeles. There didn’t seem like there was much love to it but that view, Oh man. I almost left where I am, which is in a really really, really good location and can be more beneficial despite the 20 million set backs and deceit, dishonesty and lack of negotiation to work together but then to be against each other.

 

I met these neighbors over by where I live. They really do have passion. Whether or not I felt a connection, I really don’t know anymore. They want to do it big but feel like they need to take all these steps to create the ultimate goal, which is their love for creation. It was really beautiful listening to them talk. I just feel they need a bigger push, they need a bigger hustle. They need to do what I know to do. Tell the world. They need to show it all damn day. They think to follow the rules. WHAT RULES, YOU MAKE YOUR RULES. I DONT KNOW. it drove me crazy because I wanted to be that boost. All this time I couldn’t figure it out what I was good at and now I Know. I am that boost. I guess that’s all that I will be but at least its something.

I don’t know if Ill see them again but they told me to write a check for how much I think I should pay for the place and have them deal with that on their end. This kid had some good ideas. I don’t know why I felt like I should struggle. He’s right, if they are only concerned about themselves then I should find something better for myself.

Anyways enough about my lack of discretion self. A acquaintance of mine back east had passed away. He passed of a drug over dose.  The one thing that it made me realize that, it was a really sad way to go. The evil gems of life took your worth. He was cool. His name was Tom. He was my at one point good friend, extreme crush, friends boy friend, what a sticky situation, cousin. I once thought he was North Korean. He is blonde as can be and fare as the snow in Alaska. RIP TOM> Hope you find peace and rest assure knowing you were loved, and will always be loved and the heavens will make a cozy place for you to feel the light.

 

Until then, struggle .

xoxo

Reama