I am in the mother of all flashing lights, Los Angeles. I made it. There have been a few set backs. My roommates, letting me know they are charging me more then I should be paying. There is no fridge, there was no electricity ( 3 days with burning flame candles; luckily I had brought my Vickies candle I bought on a super discount in my over 18 pound luggage). The man who drove me to my apartment tried to pocket 60 dollars instead of being honest with me. Why is it so hard to be honest?
But you know what. I will refuse to believe that this city, this world is all that it is, dishonest, hungry savages. Yes we are all hungry, Yes’ ill get mine but I will not cut, stab, shove in the process. Do it with class, courteous, and smile. We are here together. I tried to find a different place. I saw some really cool parts of LA. However I felt like they were worst deals. However, there was this one. There was this rooftop. I was going to drop my life in the heart of this city to be on top for some piece of mind. It was this three sixty view in this urban, more like borded up the forgotten neighborhood of Los Angeles. There didn’t seem like there was much love to it but that view, Oh man. I almost left where I am, which is in a really really, really good location and can be more beneficial despite the 20 million set backs and deceit, dishonesty and lack of negotiation to work together but then to be against each other.
I met these neighbors over by where I live. They really do have passion. Whether or not I felt a connection, I really don’t know anymore. They want to do it big but feel like they need to take all these steps to create the ultimate goal, which is their love for creation. It was really beautiful listening to them talk. I just feel they need a bigger push, they need a bigger hustle. They need to do what I know to do. Tell the world. They need to show it all damn day. They think to follow the rules. WHAT RULES, YOU MAKE YOUR RULES. I DONT KNOW. it drove me crazy because I wanted to be that boost. All this time I couldn’t figure it out what I was good at and now I Know. I am that boost. I guess that’s all that I will be but at least its something.
I don’t know if Ill see them again but they told me to write a check for how much I think I should pay for the place and have them deal with that on their end. This kid had some good ideas. I don’t know why I felt like I should struggle. He’s right, if they are only concerned about themselves then I should find something better for myself.
Anyways enough about my lack of discretion self. A acquaintance of mine back east had passed away. He passed of a drug over dose. The one thing that it made me realize that, it was a really sad way to go. The evil gems of life took your worth. He was cool. His name was Tom. He was my at one point good friend, extreme crush, friends boy friend, what a sticky situation, cousin. I once thought he was North Korean. He is blonde as can be and fare as the snow in Alaska. RIP TOM> Hope you find peace and rest assure knowing you were loved, and will always be loved and the heavens will make a cozy place for you to feel the light.
Until then, struggle .
xoxo
Reama
reamabeama 